Ya know...
I hate it when people create blogs and all, then deny permission to read. its just...irritating.
but then again, no one read this place no more haha
just me, and my rantings, and my supposed impressions on all the fools of the world.
I'm very tired of it already. trying to make sense of things...yet getting no where.
I'm expecting a miracle to happen every second, yet I've not been entirely religious for the past few months of my life.
Just read a book recommended by my uncle, called "Man's search for Meaning" by Viktor Franke.
he's a psychologist apparently, of a methodology called "logotherapy"
in short, the jargon-less definition is that he instills "meaning" into people for them to carry on with life.
like suicidal people, mental conditions, mild OCD, the sort.
and it was recommended for this little wayward christian to see into something deeper.
unfortunately...
the method is really only for people who value life.
its funny ain't it. I'm a christian because I don't want hell. people always have chided me, tried talking me out of my pseudo-sucidal-depressive tendecies. but I can't. cos I don't view life as precious.
so along came a Man named Jesus, who promised eternal life in either hell, or heaven if you believed in Him.
eternity being bolied and roasted like some suckling pig? no thanks, I'll like the pearly gates.
but if there was an option to be non-existent, I would have gladly taken it.
Why must we carry our feet, step by step, to walk into challenges that we have to face?
why must i suffer, to be defined in this human race?
who defined suffering as mandatory, when death is so quiet, simple. fast, depending on the route.
why is suicide such a taboo?
I find all these societal values very destructive, that those who fear the afterlife and unknown
would drag others with them to suffer the plight of the living. and here I am, shrouded by mists of uncertainty of the afterlife, but indoctrinated to live on for the ever present eternity.
I say to the non-existent critics, DON'T JUDGE ME as escapist. Fully examine yourselves and tell me truly if your life has any PERSONAL meaning and value before attacking me. I don't believe that family nor friends should validate anyone's life, be it gratitude or otherwise.
I've still got a mountain to vomit on this topic, but I lack the ability to fully express myself in what few words I can say in too short a space. no one likes a wall of text, and no one likes to be approached with this sketchy topic of life.
In conclusion, I am sad and pretty lonely. that's all.
