sigh...this doesnt work...words cant express this sadness...i'm really not emo...really...or at least trying to be...emo is not in...i keep telling myself...but this heartache....its not natural...
i'm actually cryin right now...just cant find whats wrong...
tears pouring down my face, and i still don't know the reason...
the stings of parental love, obligation to my God, or the mounting pressure of the things to come?
Death is but a step away...and Satan willing welcomes the desidents of God...
I say i'll piss on the graves of the cowards who commit suicide...but is it cos i envy them for their freedom of choice?
Life is just a phase that God wants us to experience...but i really cant stand it anymore...
the corruption, the filth, the defilement of God's greatest creation, and by the very creation themselves...looking at us humans...i despise the very exsistence of life...i fear for my eternal soul...
Child abuse, pornography, the so called "bondage" acts around...all created by the human mind...torture, and many more, cruelty to our very own brothers in blood...u say "Freedom of Speech" and what comes out? a bloody stream of racist jokes and comments...can it get any worse? The perversity of the human mind...far exceeds my own imagination...
We Singaporeans have lived in the lap of luxury for far too long...luxury built upon the sweat and sacrifices...they suffered, so that we may enjoy... we neglect our neighbours, despite them being just beside us and opposite as well...
Love, Love, Love...we talk about it so much...the guys and gals say it too often to their partners...and neglect the very hands that feed us...i find christians, thus myself, a bunch of hypocrites...the very emblem, the core of our way of life...yet we live against this credo...maybe i've just seen the bad side, those that tarnish our name, and thus Good Lord's name...yet, isn't an organisation aren't as strong as its weakest link?
of course, the tears have stemmed...talking about this morbid topic (well not exactly morbid, more emo i guess)...who wouldn't suddenly get a sense of their own fragility, their own summation of life, an improptu reflection of our inner self...
i thank my readers for havin read this far...most would have drifted...there's more, but lets save it for another...
Love you, my very special someone...today's ur day, and though u may not noe it, i'll be there for you till the very end...the reason i'm not gettin married...is so (damn the tears again) that i can watch over you forever...
to only you, this non-commital soul will commit
with you, this life will continue, just as you have faced your daily tribulations
for you, this rock will continue to keep watch, to hold firm, ever within your reach
yet, you'll never realise this, never noe of me...i'll watch behind the scenes, concealed by the shadows, hidden by a false mask and covered by time...will this end? i dont know..but i've kept vigil for many years, and still i will, awaiting the day that i can call you...My love...
Lovelorn and Torn
