I...got nothing to say...
hate simmers in my life...brimming full of it right now...
u think i'm faking all this? u really think so?
then Go To Hell, i'll tell you...the most un-Christian thing i can ever say to anyone,
i'm not doing this for fun, and this is the only damn way i can release the shit left in me...unless u want it in your face, then i don mind...
today, nothing much...just another wasted day in school...no more anger spikes, no more emo streaks, just so dead to the monotone...damn, difficult at this time to not put any vulgarities in here...damn it...slept in econs lecture, slept in econs tutorial, what more do i need to sleep in...PE perhaps? well, at least, can derive some enjoyment from the physical activity...gives me something, NOT to think about...just mental and physical torture...step after step, inch after inch, i really hate but need this kind of endurance...sigh...3x340m...then slope sprint 6 times, 12 GST, 24 at the PUB, then 48 sit-ups...stupid ass like me, thot 24 PUB was push-ups, so, yea, did extra..but who cares...i didn't...just did...the damn body's a machine anyway, the more i burn it, the faster it will fail...and failing soon it is...
went to CCK..then HTA...stings and hurts, had lunch with duckie...since this is mainly public, i cant say anything...just enjoyed my time, like i do with my friends...meal time, i try not to make it a sordid affair...haha, 1st laughs i had in a long time...that i truly felt happy...next up, my other sister i suppose...maybe huiling? no time, both of us...and i think she's getting impatient...sigh
joined by shaz and jiayi...khimyang...then off to HTA, met with the gang, and off we went...kena chased out of the range, so outside we waited, and chatted for long...dinner came, graced with the presense of our dear Baton Awardee...more gossips and stuff, but overall, just hanging out together...and...2 love birds sitting beside me, doing all the hanky-panky...
went home, and guess, fate is decisive...i went home alone, while my dinner companions left in pairs...and many thoughts just raced through my mind...that maybe, maybe, i'm fated to be left alone...and somehow, i love being alone...just me, and my thoughts, me, and my tiresome complaints, all to myself...me, me, me...how much more selfish can i get...still, solitude with music in my ears...its a heaven in itself...so self absorbed, yet i don look to the oppressed...
so caught up with being with the cool gang, yet neglecting those who wanna be with me...i dunno if that could ever be possible, still, i have overlooked many in my life...and still continue to do so...
now, after the anger, comes the simmer....the cooling down...again, i'm struck with the relevation, of how much work really will need to be covered next year...and again, i wonder if i made the right choice...regret is too late, just live with it...
An Arrow Through my Heart
A Trap I Swore Again Never To Touch
Sprung By Careless Hands
And An Assuming Mind
