its just after tuition...and yet again i wonder
why am i here...
who am i to you?
How in what way am i that "good friend" of yours...
How in what way made you care...
u say that
i'm your friend...but...
alright, i wont hurt the people who regard me as a
budd..
i'll leave it as it is...
Early morn, to school, to hide the immense
barang that i had to bring to school,namely my
NPCC uniform...
sigh...just thought of school work and homework...and about the test results of Chem...
i really really have no clue further how to carry on, how to pick myself up...
some beauties of my class said i was sweet...to that,
i've no comment,
maybe cos that was once me...perhaps never...i do not
noe...not now, certainly not in the future...
i mainly stayed awake the whole day, mainly cos i was doing stuff that distracted me from my main course...i feel that
i've let Kat down, cos i
didnt take charge of extra notes? it seems to stem from me only, the missing notes issue...sorry Kat...
sigh...back to class, Alba told me that i should not fret too much about her no more...
she said that my tiresome behaviour has roots in me being obsessed with her...
i feel like
i've let down someone else when she said that...made me reflect on how disgusting i truly was...but yet again, sigh...its totally my fault...and for that, i have to take blame...
read Vanessa's letters from afar...and made me
reminisce about times past and gone...of silly mistakes and hurtful words,
embarrassing moments and...well, just fond memories...
what did i read that made me feel so heartbroken?
i simply have no idea...just that it made me...well, lukewarm feel i guess...
and then GP...and seriously...i find that
i'm a fiasco...nothing but an empty shell
i cant do GP...really...for all the money in the world,
AQ, Summary,
Compre and lastly Essay...i cannot write to earn a single cent...
in short
i'm hopeless...an uncouth bum, who cannot do anything right...
i
noe my mistakes...so why is it so hard to correct them? someone tell me?
Living is so hard, yet to die is even more so...
how i wish, that
sentient thinking
didn't existthat everyone was just a feeding,
defecating, respiring, reproducing robot of flesh...
that way, perhaps,
I'll have less of this stinking worries i like to complain about...
People will tell me to shape up or ship out...
what will i do?
Always Taking The Easy Way Out
Always Taking It Out
Apologetic To Those Within Reach
Sorry You Have To Feel Those Blows
