Wrath i am,
but not one that anyone has seen.
violent i am and violent I'll get, for anyone's sake.
for the only thing i could ever do properly was fight.

i hate being lied to.
that gets wrath in me.

anger is a human nature.
and I'll like to say i'm human.
talking to Kelvin this morning,
really really drove me on the whole day.

glad to have friends.
glad to have you.

{ gone at 20:01 }

and so
sitting before a new com

kinda sucks to re-do all my settings...
oh wells, for the better, i hope...
start up always seems to be a nasty business for me.

Biopolis.
OC was last day of training at Bball.
wonders me how Coach will take it.
kill me, perhaps.

nice day, great weather.
wish i could see less of something though.
Bio test. have fun peeps.

i wish i could kill you, but it'll do me no good
then i wish i could break you, but he'll sob till no end.
then pray, what shall i do?

{ gone at 20:07 }

screw the chem test.
didn't even know there was a thing called ionic product...
and Luke seems to be the great hypocrite...
but didn't seem to talk much to him today...
pass it on, pass it on.

Too bad tango last lesson.
sorry that i was so serious Chia...
kinda brooding too much:(

talked to Tubbs and Chia about a life passion
what drives them, or rather what drives a person.
found that you don't need much...
still, i wish i had something to occupy my time
other than that silly thing called schoolwork.

hoping for that new com soon.
i wished i had shut my trap just now before ballroom dancing though.
wished for a lot of other things as well.
but its too late, too late.

am i making things awkward?

{ gone at 22:10 }

curses

be that way, then.
early leave, led to stupid action.
My Way huh...
lucky the day was short, and lucky the day had few humans.

true perhaps that i am angered easily,
but true also that it dissipates easily as well.
hope tomorrow brings better hope and gladness.

found mine in the fact that Mr.Hoi said my re-write was much better.
damper in the fact that GK got it better.
oh wells.

All will be in ashes anyway.
living for the moment,
living for a passion.
live.

{ gone at 18:15 }

It rained
that makes me glad.
simple pleasures for a simpleton.
I'm really and truly sub-human.

so, genes that quote for melanin are dominant.
and thus, one could say that blonds are recessive, or lack sufficient amounts.
and if blonds only marry blonds
you could say that blonds indeed have less information.
dumb blonds
what a factual joke.

left to my own devices, i could probably end up dead
will you love me again?

let the doomsday clock tick, tick, tick again.

{ gone at 18:23 }

I'm beginning to see more of myself in one of my buddies
maybe that's why i was so afraid.

i am lacking a passion to call my own.
i'm in need of a direction i can always take to be
and i need to get it clear that I am a guy.
funny how that sounds.

all talk and no action
lazy ass with no direction.
sounds a lot like me

and i tire of my parents
always thought the world of them (most of the time anyway)
tried to understand things from their point of view
i think its about time they saw things my way.

family. kazoku.
all will be in ashes anyway.

{ gone at 23:13 }

my heart was heavy
and i didn't reckon why i would storm out so badly
I know I'm quite tiresome...
its not like i want to be
i said i'll try...

but i know not where to start...
never had such a bad bout of melancholy:(

been hanging out with NEL dudes
sorta relieves some pain.
i'll go on pretending,
and forget that nothing ever happened.

outs.

{ gone at 23:12 }

worn out beyond belief...
maybes not so...
and no one had to know...
this is not right.
Adrian was being a dick yesterday...
and my mom caught me playing...lol

got alot to study for CAs
guess what, i don't know if i should start.
and i think i lost my organic chem enrichment...
double fuck

glad today happened.

{ gone at 19:14 }

not fair,
all you people PS me in ballroom dancing:(

Bio SPA. Difficult like shite.

Dinner at Buangkok was expensive shite.

I did a monkey thing there...
i PCC over there also.
Choo, ya made too many mistakes for me to capitalise on!

Father had a kidney ache.
hope all goes well.

hope i go well.
with ropes tied so tightly round me
its not possible for me to fall once more.

{ gone at 22:53 }

was a relative great day
all thanks to my sitting buddy for the day:)

Bio, Mr.Yeow was so pissed...
made me so sad:(
the poor soul must have really been worked to the bone...

otherwise, i'm supposed to be studying for Bio SPA
and an Econs test.
damn.

PE...
passed a ball which caused Choo to fall. guilt
bumped into Chan, making him lose balance. guilt.
i think i should stop playing altogether...
YA, RIGHT...
LOL!

and Carrot and Celery
tastes "exquisite"
yup
my day in 5 mins.

lastly, i find this person in class intimidating
brrrr...Chia might noe who:P

{ gone at 18:16 }

enjoyable day today
maybe cos its sunday.
and if i haven't mentioned it,
yesterday's parade wasn't anything to talk about.

they really should have given it more glam for a 50th anniverary thingy.

talked to my old buddy from church
talked to the girl in sheekpink as well.
stirring stirring.
get over it already!

went for a swim
cos the weather was sweltering
i rediscovered the use of some muscle groups in my body.
SWELL!

nights people.

{ gone at 21:10 }

NPCC meeting
NPCC parade
NPCC old boys outing.

NPCC.
the life i had
the sorrow i shared
the passion i have lost.
maybe one for me to find again.
was not intending to make it down
ended up there cos there was no one else.
turned out to be fun, actually...
herding Sec1s and 2s from my Area.
THE ONLY CI there...haha:)
and so, the nobody had to become somebody...
feels pretty good to be depended on, actually.

asthma took a downturn
might end up being pretty serious if i still don't manage it well
i won't die, not yet anyway:)

long bus rides
hate them, love them.
all i could do was to stare into space
thinking of times past, times present and times to come.
my sorrows, pains, joys and highs.
and i'm sorry.

{ gone at 23:09 }

lost for words.
aint nothing to say today
just great distaste.
stupid stupid stupid.

and the fast and furious 4.
every minute worth it.
nights.

{ gone at 23:13 }

time and time again, i have had problems with my sentence structure,
phrasing, etc. Ouch.
its not helping, that my standard of english doesn't reflect what should
be appearing on paper. Double ouch.
i mean, ya can't really stop what's spontaneous right?
i mean, it just flows...
and flows, and ebbs.

hurts sometimes.

not in me to hate anyone anyway.
it just bugs me, at times.

good luck to SYF.
Gab, Pris, Kat, XY.

wish training would finally end.
wasting time just sitting there.
fuck.

Chem SPA tmr, and i wanna do 2 essays tonight.
Double fuck.

your smile just lit up my day.

{ gone at 19:02 }

so...
i need to remove 3 words from my lingo.
effective from yesterday.
or from days before.
they be: so, right, like.

used in context as such: so right, like...ya.
no more.
no thanks to my morning buddies and classies.
a real big raspberry:P

and I'm a bacteria.
this is because i dressed in white.
i kinda knew it was coming when i walked to change,
with Mr.T saying: "ya better change before you catch a cold."
and so, I'm a bacteria with a recombinant plasmid that cannot digest lactose.
it so happens that I'm the 1 person in the LT in white.
it so happens that transformation also occurs in a 1% chance
Coincidentally, Gabriel Hong is also LACTOSE INTOLERANT.

watch out world, I CAN DO BINARY FISSION:P

somehow, Biology happens to me,
not the other way round

Jess, GK, MQ, Chia, Me.
Lido again soon.
I think i talk funny.

my day in 10 mins.

{ gone at 21:31 }

act, don't sit

Maths was intense today
tmr would be Bio's turn.
Tango!

ain't the reason i wanna sing
ain't the reason i wanna run
just the freedom gained from hurt unsprung
no sense, as usual.

wish someone would stop berating herself.
wish I would stop berating myself.

Study hard, play hard.
Life ain't all smiles,
but let's make the best of it.

my classmate of P1 and 2,
leads a very much harder life.
looking at him, seeing recognition in his eyes,
i just wonder, is it that difficult for me to say "Hi"?

i don't believe that people are dumb.
just that the ability for people to retain information relevant to their needs differs greatly

{ gone at 17:49 }

today's sermon was particularly interesting; i think i heard it once in a dream...
A pair of twins developing in a womb.
Life after birth?
the concept of a loving mother...interesting funny, the way my pastor put it.
but right now, we're probably the same...
Life after all this...A loving God?

and indeed, i can only imagine.

last laugh:
Famous Last Words: "what could possibly go wrong?"

Like a rat i scuttled out of sight, before the beauty that walked on by.
I had kept vigil for 6 lonesome years;
her voice was like the shepherd's call
her graceful actions swept me away.
keeping me rooted, i yearned to hold her hands
to whisper in her ear...nothing at all.
and finally, she smiled at me, a smile with devil intentions
My last vestiges of life,
cut off by a hurtful glance.

ran with mum today
more like i ran away from her:P

{ gone at 19:38 }

i don't know if i did the right thing.
but its the only thing that i could have done.

Saturday
went to church
enjoyed the carnival.

I'm so tired.
i want to lay my head on your shoulders again
to smell your scent.

Aversion of eyes
the hem of her gown pulled low.
Caged like a bird, her wings clipped.
Melancholy pours forth from her throat,
biding her time,
awaiting her saviour

Oasis is stuff of the gods

{ gone at 22:13 }

going offline now, are we?
today, Good Friday.
Great.

Yesterday, doing something stupid.
very interesting, what Mr.Choo had to say.
and what i did while playin cards.

I think that i may be going up end again.
Fuck.

all i wanted, was someone interesting in my life
cos after all, your my Wonderwall.

sitting before my com,
looking at the MSN screen.
wondering whether i should type a message
to send a song
to laugh a tear
or simply, to enjoy quiet moments with you.

i just wish the weird dreams would stop

Labels: Good Friday

{ gone at 20:26 }

its almost disgusting,
the way i could predict what you would do...ptttt
The world ain't fair, maybe its good for one person's sake.

Teachers really need to maintain the distinction
between petty favourtism and marring the future of others.
Bitch.

Again i was lost for words...
I couldn't console one who had been my comfort for days...
empty promises, i know how difficult it is to keep and break now...
me not being one to talk about it.
Traitors.
Me.

Don't go watch Knowing,
unless your prepared for EPIC FAIL.
LIKE ALIENATED EPIC FAIL.

{ gone at 23:59 }

I always thought Chan was...well, enigmatic...

It ain't polite to stare, it ain't polite to ignore.
It ain't polite to be me.

Again, i thought of Mr.Teo.
i wanted to put his theory to the test.
and he was right.
I'll do more independent learning from now...

And getting silver for NAPFA.
it sucks.
Asthma? Forgetting inhaler?
I have to find excuses because if i told you that i was unfit,
NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE ME.

Rach, ya want to know why i have so low self-esteem?
Sob story summarised:
everytime i make assertions, i'm wrong.
but when i'm silent, i'm likely right.
so i decide to be quiet.

Easter soon, Good Friday etc.
it figures for new birth
perhaps i shall do myself in for a new me.
God will approve.

Not stupid, just real lazy.
Gerry's a real cool person.
hope she does well in her gym comp.

{ gone at 18:52 }

I laughed at my endearments
I laughed at your pouts.
But most of all, I'm laughing at the Hell I've forged.

I like writing and typing as it seems.
the only way that i can express myself.
not smses, not by speech.
but by writing.

i would write volumes if only for you to know
what i meant, what i truly wanted you to know.
Spontaneity with thoughts have never been my strong point.
and its my inability, that has brought me to this state.

2 things today, both with the same person.
Mr. Teo Soon Hock.

Do you know how bad it felt, when with the simplest of questions, i was left speechless?
"Gabriel, give me one person that i can associate you with"
It could only have torn me to shreds.
Ride back home, took the same bus,
chatted the same lingo. saved me a few bucks.
Insightful man, he.

Tango rocked.
If only i had joined dance in Secondary school.

Heavy Metal drains my determination

if only i could just kneel before...,
break down and cry.

{ gone at 19:59 }

Waves of Mercy
Waves of Grace
Waves of Anger
Waves of Hate.

I think of stuff i did. Foolish
I think of stuff I'll do. Foolish
I think of me. Foolish
I think of God. Foolish.

and standing there like a mannequin,
while the rest of you sleep it off.
Thx.

Love them, Hate them.
it doesn't matter.

sick of living
sick of dying.
now what am i to do?

know what is a sweet emotion?
I'll like to order one please.

and Enter Sandman rocks, Choo.

{ gone at 21:12 }

This is my Desolation
This is my Hell.
This is my Refuge
This is my Haven

from a world so alike,
yet so different.

today, great.
no homework done,
no sleep done,
no church done.

my Sunday in 10 mins.

new week,
new fun,
new memories to be forgotten.

Cheers.
or not

{ gone at 19:59 }

Started listening to Aerosmith recently
pretty great rock actually.
Pink, ladies and gents! haha:)

talking till the wee hours of the morn.
I'm just fortunate, i realise.
and just plain dense.
Dream On

at this point, i want to say some things...
but i can't say them, cos it just simply kills me
friends for friends?
no doubt, there is still antagonism,
and my moods just go up and down like a fucking coaster

I don't want to miss a thing,
not ever, not anymore.
i just want to be right where i belong.

but bang, up in flames
I could have just possibly destroyed myself.

{ gone at 17:01 }

so i drive home alone
as i turn out the lights
I'll put his picture down and
maybe get some sleep tonight
-Teardrops on my Guitar, Taylor Swift.

teardrops?
enough to last my life.
but no one aint ever faulted for crying too much
there should be a male version for Taylor.
but i'ma thinkin too much

Germ and Thiv crashed class today,
while doing Maths FA.
HMMMM, I'll cautiously say that Germ just did the double checking...
:P

Luncheon with T30 again.
I'm really glad they never rejected me,
not that T26 ever did...just a change of atmosphere,
like a breath of fresh air.
hell, its like Thivya did a switchie with me:)

then out with buddies from a past more pleasant
for a dinner more than forgotten.
but all things said and done,
I'm really glad to have them.

PTM tmr.
Chills, and good luck.

{ gone at 23:30 }

In a family of 3 boys,
hell, of course i wanna PES A for commando duties la
best if i can go into diving unit...
oh wells, not cut out then not cut out lor
UNFIT!

tearing before a cistern,
trying to clear the pain,
but if i'm such a hypocrite,
then you've not done very much better.

if i don't trust anyone,
its only cos no one ever did the same for me.
everyone has misgivings on a new environment,
and with so much talk of trust,
i think it ain't unfair to say that i didn't breach it 1st.

Migraine,
just like i said.
no thanks to MQ pushing me,
and for the previous day's lack of sleep.
I'm not superhuman, ya noe.

Labels: Migraine

{ gone at 19:24 }

A flash of light, over yonder
what was that made the child's heart so flutter?
Nothing but the dashes of hope, and shreds of dreams
and streams of tragedy and me


they call them the 7 deadly sins.
and I'm Lust, Sloth and Gluttony

i borrowed this life,
i borrowed this soul,
and now it seems, i gotta return it whole
but as holy i can't return it
for tainted it be, now that i've used it

PES B, L1
that's great, due to asssssthma and MIIIIIIgraine
curses.
its like being up there and no where.
i've failed, AGAIN.

only 3 people have seen through what i show
XY, Andrea and silly old Van.

{ gone at 19:13 }

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