Tired and stirred
its fun today.

and fun things need not elaborate.
how i just wish though.

let me get out of JC asap.

{ gone at 19:58 }

I can smile again
its so wonderful
its like an entire load just disappeared.

though i really hope somebody will stop treating me like that
its irritating

and went out with Father and SiYun today
finally a cloud that i like.
the bear who thinks far.
and a drunkard who can't hold liquor...
Happy 18th dude!

I'm just going to live with the vestiges
and keep to myself.
oh "holier than thou"

but studying is fun.
I'm like a sponge.
time to clean the grime
a month is almost cutting it too close.

PRIMROSE...
SMILE MORE!!!

{ gone at 22:24 }

Through eyes as this i could not see
How much you really meant to me
Sometimes after the euphoria's gone away,
You'll feel you did your part and say goodbye

Composing poems is all i do
when i sit around and think about you

In a sing-song voice filled with passion
I play the fool to earn your affection
but when it comes to the choice of mate
people only see the long term future

Its my flaw i must admit
that i live for the moment,
that i live for me

but once a while just take a breather
and see that I'm a Joe without a sister
The female touch is all i need,
so just stay close and embrace me(?)

For I'm just a little boy inside,
hurting easy
needing to hide.

find the rhythm that needs to be
and maybe one day you will see
what I say when I do
and not when I speak like a fool
for actions speak louder than words,
and then maybe, just maybe you will see
that i still care so much about you.

{ gone at 19:51 }

I may just stop writing soon.
i started this as a place to place feelings
when perhaps it should have been just recounts.

when you are feeling totally lost.
and no one is there to pick you up
i knew I'd finally use up all my lifelines

there's a certain kind of support that one always seeks
there's a kind of friend that one always wants.
but is there a need?
right now, i feel really down


I'm depressed.
minor clinical depression.

if your handwriting reflects your personality,
then doesn't the content speak about your state?
introvert, huh.
funny how MQ knows me better than myself.
funny how he can see my uncertainties.

haha, why can people tell me more about myself than i can?

the song 'Broken Man' by Boys Like Girls comes to mind.

am i finally allowed to cry?
because if hate and distance doesn't work,
there's nothing physical left that I can turn to.
and the kind of love that i need right now is far from spiritual

will someone just smile and talk to me?
I'm pleading.
please.

{ gone at 18:03 }

Here are some nice Dilbert's one liners:

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..

7. Born free, taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

11. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

12. I love being a writer......what I can't stand is the paperwork.

13. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

14. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

15. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

16. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

17. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

18. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!

19. If you can't convince them, confuse them.

20. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

21. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

22. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

23. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

24. Someday is not a day of the week

25. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

26. To err is human; to forgive is not a Company policy.

27. The road to success......Is always under construction.

28. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

29. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

......and here's the best of the lot

30. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or in love with someone else.

{ gone at 19:15 }

i wish some things could be made clearer.
don't leave things hanging

i wish people will be less forgetful
and that people had more respect for the teacher.

i wish all this upon myself as well.

and last thing
wishes don't come true.

{ gone at 19:11 }

Finally someone can see beyond my "8-pointer" status...
I'm a bum
i hate studying for non-major exams.
but maybe just for prelims I'll get me started.
cos its true I'm quite clueless about stuff.

PTM was horrendous
irritance ttm.
at least it was quick and brief, just the way i like it.
curt and to the point.
unlike everyone else who goes round the bush and think you insignificant.

I could be
but i shouldn't.
but its so...euphoric
over the moon baby!

{ gone at 21:05 }

Like a weasel my nature sly
Yet not knowing I was watched by a Hawk's eye...

my feet hurt from all that walking
its clear I'm unfit to do a woman's shopping

What's a world without sight?
Merciless and cold.

my last message of the day
is to a friend dear
Ive wronged you much
and the chill rings through the soul
its glad i stayed clear when in rage
for it cleared my mind
it kept me sane

If its come again to this
then let me be struck again and again
gratitude

I live for the moment
no matter what they say
I'll fail A' Levels
and I'll leave with regrets
but if i can cherish what education can never bring,
then maybe i may find heartfelt peace.

{ gone at 22:04 }

A thrashing snake hidden in part
guised as friend, devious at heart
A sibling of trust so false
the fangs went deep where armor covered not
It wasn't from wound that he bled out
but poison of the subtle sort

All that remains is the salve
to patch the quilt, the quilt called Trust
Neither a soldier nor a rock
but a slave to the economical clock.
But as slave i can stll feel
and your guilty looks have made me ill
Stricken at heart,
damage worse than steel.

You have made a hypocrite of yourself
but that's what humans are, its no big deal
Again i have to harden my heart
to strike off all intruders,
the sympathiser's card
indulgence makes the soul grow weak
but a love of a different colour never killed nobody.

I knew things could never be the same
not with me spouting rubbish in the heat of the game
With you i dreamt of pleasures unclean,
yet innocent for the release it brings

I'm sorry to say its come to this
though no man is an island
I be no Man it seems.

Well muscled the body construct
but weak in constitution,
jealous at heart

its true that a sad man drives no point
but its a cycle, like every other one
though association brings the peak of fun
Love's a cruel master, the Devil's Son.

{ gone at 22:37 }

L4D
there's nothing that needs be said about that.

somehow, today was a really empty day.
the heart's empty.
Chuck can come up with good things sometimes. But i don't know so much.
the poisoning of the mind is slow but sure.
and i don't know what kind of poison has been used.
the toxin of distance perhaps.

it just hurts so much
its just not fair that i should burn like this.

I once thought highly of you
now my thoughts just disappear into the breeze.

i once thought him close
but the enigma clearly remains at that.

blood poured out from his every orifice
as the demon possessed him with force.
his screams were silent, his pain was not
and the bells chimed in the past

dreams are not reality

{ gone at 20:49 }

bound in chains iron-clad strong
the weary soldier trudges on
taunted by daemons, mocked by faeries
he shrugs them off, eyes set to the goal
but blade on the ethereal make no mark
and the pixies only strove to trip his every step, encumbrance every step of the way.
his comrade left for differences he knew not
the snowy owl he loved left his side
but gentle angel voices soothed his every wound and forward he went
for on all sides of the road, the commoners shamed him
and at his heels were hell's minions waiting to devour...

{ gone at 20:12 }

my blogger posting template is fucked, i tell you.

one thing: Alex, i wouldn't have advised you to go for lecture. It will not be my opinion, and will never be. thought I'll let ya know.

blatant or not
I think I'm gonna give up

people have been using "FML"
don't think i would though.

a bit more, and the report will be ready for completion
and with that, revision can also come to play.

till then...
I think that I'm going crazy again.
lonely like fuck.

Gaboo the island.
yea right.
I don't envy my position, Norman.

you will always be this specter looming over my life.
maybe you'll plague me forever
maybe I'll let the guilt hang over my neck
or maybe I'll bang my head more often so that amnesia can claim me.
somehow, things aren't going to be what they seem anymore.

{ gone at 18:52 }

Home from maths and back again, its silly how we would assume the world revolves around us.
but who wouldn't complain?

somehow, when i say i have distaste for Sean, its cos he seems to say sorry like it was free.
it isn't.
yet sometimes, i realise its all you can ever do,
and nothing can change anyway.
sorry Poh for the change of mood.
see: sorry is just spammed.
but still, I'll just wanna adopt the "holier-than thou" attitude and keep it sacrosanct.
and blame others for doing otherwise.

if i say that i haven't really let go, what would you do?

nothing really.
i should really stop hurting those around me with my actions, be it family or friends.

but life ain't a cake, and blueberries always taste the same.

took this one from Auggie's blog

beautiful the couple in love
just makes me wanna crack up
the muscled hunk and the frisbee queen
really really look good...

{ gone at 19:07 }

A hunt for a runt
a gun and some fun.

curses.

{ gone at 19:58 }

Now that Primrose has become 2
I don't know what to do.

sucky day today, seeing that i lost all the time to my migraine.
wanted so much to hear your voice, saying "hi Gabe"
sigh

careless whispers will get me no where
i want it all back
and stoning while trying to ignore the pain
made me remember things i didn't want to

and my rebellious nature is getting me into trouble with the mother.
sigh.
and i missed out on watching Potter.
not that i wanted, but the ticket was free.
BAH

Labels: Migraine

{ gone at 20:01 }

Where art thou my dear Primrose?
are you hidden behind a tree, or under the hedge?
if lies will carry you far, then I'll lie all the way to your heart.

kinda waste of time day...
BoP was fun though.
but somehow, the morn wasn't exactly my cup of tea.
have i become too attached to you already?

no matter, I'm still the same.
which goes to say isn't much.
All i have to endure is 2 more weeks.
just 2 more weeks and then i can start studying for real.

when can i get out of this shell, only time will tell.
and to a certain someone, I'm trying here.
but if you really have nothing to do with me then I'll even stop here.
but i really don't want it to come to that.

even the chicken lost its flavour.

{ gone at 21:49 }

after facing the music
comes the symphony.
literal and figurative.

the last stretch ain't that long after all.
after i settle NPCC and NYAA
it will be full steam.
a game ain't hard to uninstall
a PSP ain't hard to keep.
what's left is my wife and me.

so what is your plan, friend?
let's care and share.

and you ain't the only one who has been depressed.
funny how i had to see someone else before i knew myself.
Gabriel A
Gabriel B
one light, one dark.
quote: "
I have a light side,
I have a dark side.
having both makes life more fun"
~D.Gray-man.

scoop and stone
I'm glad i cleared things before i stepped into the chasm.

{ gone at 15:34 }

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
you're in ruins

-21 Guns,
Green Day.

I was childish at break.
but I'm losing it every time i see you.

no more...
It no matter, it no matter no more.
1,2,3,4.

I heart you.
both of you.
even if she doesn't read this.

I'm trying to not be a burden on anyone anymore.

{ gone at 17:17 }

its becoming rather unnerving...
i have a feeling i will fail A Levels.
I just know it.

tired and I'm beginning to do things that i don't usually do.
i feel fked up...

my whole body aches.
PE tmr somemore...
sigh.

somewhere somehow
i know that you are out there
but till that day...

"your actions speak so loud that I can't hear anything you say"

i should have just left after Promos.

{ gone at 19:54 }

you ever get that inspiration to WOAH, wake up and start to be the good little student that you are?
I'm getting that fking vibes now...
annoying, yet pleasant.
somehow, my brain has begun to auto-consolidate everything that the teachers are saying...
and many things just become background noise...

and i just love my passport...maybe cos it has recorded the days i went overseas?
like Mawai and Cambodia...
hahahah....
now to remember what we did...
ARRRGHHH>>>
es,.[gskbym-390i6,cv-2i, .t1349iy,1v936

last thing:
I didn't come to CJC of my own free will
i was placed here, by God.
and my, am i thankful.

friends, friends, friends,
its time to let the past go.
my greatest regret is that i initially came to CJ for the wrong reason.
I won't leave this place with the same confusion.

{ gone at 20:12 }

everything is going up ended.
H1N1 is creeping closer to my class...I don't like it.

I'm getting more and more irate with everyone around me...
I'm finally beginning to blow...bzzzt.
CURSES>!!!!

Harassment...I'm going Nazi.
typing and thinking of the past activities for NYAA is triple BZZZT.
pissed...
I
Need
A
Wife
And
I
Need
A
Life.

Indeed its a Sunday Mourning

{ gone at 20:16 }

Thanks Pat,
you let me understand attraction
sigh.

just let it be.

I'll factorise to terrorise

and I'll remember our Batam OCIP.
it reminds me that I there are certain leeways that have been given to me
and that not seeing you made me happy.
if love always wins, then I'm glad it didn't happen to me.

its cruel, but justifiable
its painful, but only for the short term.
but what if studying never ended.
"life-long learning," they said.
well fuck me if i want my brains to die.

{ gone at 12:49 }

sigh.
though shalt not repeat mistake.

I'm so glad for some things
but at times, i wonder if its sympathy.
well, at least i know i mean something to some people.

bzzzzzt.
hope you gals had a great day out.

and today's dinner was especially good.
now why is that, i wonder?

I'm getting too close for comfort.
and they are, too.
:(

{ gone at 21:28 }

got to be a little sad today.
don't know the reason though.
just felt...sad.

bio screwed up, chem screwed up, maths sure screwed up.
have to write own SGC.
have to settle attendance.
have to finish Econs and NYAA.

class wasn't too great an atmosphere today.
I'm sorry i had to say that,
but I really can't take you not affirming your faith
or that someone else would brand you otherwise.

I hope you don't blame me.

the two emotions I'm most prone to
love and hate.
seems to be little ground for in-betweens.

Primrose, Primrose, no doubt you know who you are.
last i checked on the chains i placed,
they still held
though frayed and strained.

I will lose my mind.

should not have dl-ed rockband.
I'm hooked to it, Drea!
bzzt

{ gone at 21:20 }

stepped on your toes,
kicked all my foes.

let me be extremely vulgar here:
why the heck do you people attend a wake for?
is it to be sad with the rest,
a commemoration of his death,
or what...to say last goodbyes?

I'm not inhuman.
just perhaps I haven't seen enough death yet.
but the kid's dead.
you should have said the things when he was alive
not when he's resting six feet under.

why not celebrate the poor soul's life.
not his death.
i feel like a fking hypocrite talking about this though.
since I'm the fag that's so looking forward to dying.

I envy MQ.
his take on life is refreshing and enlightening to a sod like me.
"i appreciate what i have," so to speak.
sigh.

{ gone at 22:24 }

the world would be a better place
if only everyone smiled more.
I'm serious...its amazing what a simple little smile can do.
but no one would listen anyway...

maybe all i wanted was people to feel proud of me
but all I'm feeling now is that I'm a dirtbag...
perhaps one day...
but I'm proud of my class.
I LOVE THEM MUCH
stupid sitting arrangement...but somehow I don't mind it...cos...
that's all:)

not getting married sounds like a damn good idea.
especially the children part.
jokers like me ain't worth breathing
but hell, that's not for me to say:(
still I'm alive, and am healthy...gotta take pride in that...

bah, someone should really stop living like the whole world hates her.
they don't hate you...they just don't even know you exist.
so pretend they don't exist either.

btw.
I'm really enjoying the show i see.
its just sweet.

{ gone at 19:03 }

People keep a barrier around themselves.
that bubble of personal space.
was super amused at the lady in the lift..
just because i brought a bike in, she squashed herself to the wall
and not only her, its like everyone's so afraid that the bike would come crashin down...rofl
just makes me chuckle, how PATHETIC humans are.

but I'm also amazed at how much capacity the same humans would have.
but that respect goes to a few.

got Seraphina back...
I MISSED YOU HONEY!

I'm so glad all this is over.
tiredness is all gone.
great.

{ gone at 21:36 }

Only the living can feel pain
and only the dead can obtain peace: never-ending complete blissful peace.

bzzzt
getting flustered over a few snipes and jabs
sigh, the clock never turns back, unfortunately.
i think i really made a big mistake

i think I'm becoming more and more of myself
its becoming more liberating
but idk if I'm heading in the right direction

its hard to find people with my interests.
and its hard to find people.
and i think I'm losing more and more of myself instead.

getting confused.

sad.
sigh, people just go away in time.

{ gone at 19:52 }

The only person that people love in the end is themselves
That's why you choose to love the person who can please you the most.
-Nana

selfish, yes?
but it must be, for that's what I've come to see
i really just feel so tired...
I'm glad that nothing happened...no, correction, I'm glad that i got to be that way
it just lets me see how i was
how others clicked.

I've never felt so happy, on my way home today.
this sudden inexplicable joy(?)...i even jumped up in the middle of nowhere
perhaps its true...true that i have a female way of thinking
overly emotional, often irrational yet rational
decisive, yet otherwise.

i think it wasn't Jar or anyone else that left me.
I think it was I that left them.
like it was my greatest fear, that it came down to me

it is always me, isn't it?
so why does everyone seem to care about this rotten apple?

humans really perplex me.
i wonder if i'm part of the species sometimes.

sigh
just tired

and Primrose was missed.
much.

wo yi jing bian le, dan yi jing lai bu ji le

{ gone at 23:22 }

Maths sucked.
enuf said.

the Hols have made me very lonely
but somehow, i just dread returning to school
curses.
Chem tmr, and i can't bother about it...
maybe some Ksp or I.E.

sigh, I'm tired.

Love, is a story between 2 human beings
so if you can't think of the other, its possible it won't work
-Nana

{ gone at 19:03 }

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