An account of today
went to Polycinic..waited 3 hours, and got diganosed, as developing recurrent asthma attack, making me wish now that i didn't go to the doc's, seeing as i got medicine
met up with Huiling, chat and took unglam photos...
saw LinTong at Bras Basah...imagine my delighted surprise
bought new earphones, almost regretting
and so a day and year passed


sigh,
why am i so forlorn on such a "momentous" occasion
why am i always so perplexed by the actions i take?
why do i always brood and brood about the past present and future?

i need to simmer, stone and hide
its not like i have no frens...
its not like i have a problem family
its not like i'm not well off...
so why am i always demanding for more?

touching on subjects close to heart, i still wonder,
why do you people still stick by me so closely...
maybe no one does...

looking back, i see nothing but a hateful year
one of many bad memories, poor learning experiences,
in short, everything poorly...
so much so as to have forgetten the good that happened

maybe the eventful ones go like so
8 points for O's
Became attached
Flew to CJC
Made new friends
lost some friends
got a PSP
became single
posted NOT to my alma mater
Failed, in my eyes, my Promos
Went overseas without family
did PW

what more to say on each, i have little memories of anything
much less pictures
love and hate,
kindness and cruelty
the light and the dark
to each one be you a mix of both
and many more

Let the world die with this year
and born again the next

Miserable Year to Me
Happy New Year To You

{ gone at 22:19 }

i'm bored
and in a dilemma
AS USUAL...lol...
to turn down or not, that is the question...
to visit the SPF, or to quit it...
damn damn damn damn

i'm a lucky kid, undoubtedly that is true...
but to what extent am i allowed to feel the joy that i have?
sigh...very much little, very much none...
depressed again...i don't know why...

jokes all around, i forgot my handphone,
so right now its in a cadet NCO's custody
keep it safe...rofl

i'm definitely missing something, which i don't wanna admit,
or move forwards to obtain, for it'll pass in time,
in a very long and painful period of time...

i seem jolly...don't even sound emo...gahgah
tiresome habits of mine, i'm just ranting randomness...
don mind me, tmr's going to be fun packed and jammed:P
i hope...

Aishite

{ gone at 22:04 }

the only thing that would make me really happy...
would be to:

Die
Get a life

so which would it be?

Today, completely volunteer work over at me alma mater
how appreciative, i dunno
duty? or just plain shite
will someone please talk to me...
or not...
hell, i don even ken what i want...
i'm even more and more moody, more and more contemplative

haha, false laughs all around,
bye, my love

Again, I Need The
Baby In Me

{ gone at 22:05 }

November Babies

Trustworthy and loyal.
Very passionate and dangerous.
Wild at times. (at times? i think all the time!)
Knows how to have fun. (definitely)
Sexy and mysterious. (sexy? nah...mysterious ba)
Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. (sure)
Playful, but secretive.
Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. (need i say more? :P)
Meets new people easily and very social in a group.
Fearless and independent. (i dont really fear death...i'll love to skydive...suppose that's me?)
Can hold their own.
Stands out in a crowd. (abit...lousy fashion ma)
Essentially very smart. ( very true, oh so very true)
Usually, the greatest men are born in this month.
If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind. ( dunno about this though...rofl)


quite accurate...lol

{ gone at 22:16 }

Holidays are ending
i'm so enjoying that feeling
that i still got HOMEWORK TO DO...muahahahaha

miss my femme fatales...
miss my macho hunks

gahgahgahgahghaghaghaghahg
don wanna start school
don wanna study
just wanna hunt all day
play all night

oh wellz
nothing much to say
about today
just that got good dinner
still didnt see her
old crush la, whatta do...
forget all girls,

BECOME A MONK:P

{ gone at 21:55 }

hmmm
lucky day
in both senses
i'm falling in love with "Love Story" by Taylor Swift

feminine song
still
quite the dream i wish i had...
haha, me the silly dreamer

but my life won't be so romantic
Gabriel's the crude~est guy around
emo emo emo emo

FINALLY been to church
met with people
people gone and come, come and gone

anyone know how to play with fonts for blogger?
cos my template seems to jam me:P

Life's like that
Take it, Bitter Pill,
day after day



Marry me Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.
I love you, and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad -- go pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby just say... yes.

{ gone at 23:08 }

I'm just a confused boy, not knowing how this world works
naivety to the max, i suppose...
but sadness comes with a reason, and perhaps voicing it out may help me in some ways
perhaps the silly thing about me,
is that i may have fallen again
but back into the love trap is not where i want to be
so a conflict arises, leading to dilemma

another thing would be the lack of
innovation
determination
and COMMON SENSE

priorties are not being set straight, and this pisses me off
more than anything, i want to change, but myself won't do the job
u interested?

thirdly, for the world, i'm questioning again
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN BOTHER KEEPING ME
WHEN ALL YOU WANNA DO IS THROW ME OUT?

anguish? no. confusion? PRETTY FUCKING MUCH
perhaps i'm not a typical 17 year old
one that you envisioned your son to be
but would it hurt so badly to actually show that you appreciate me?
OR AT LEAST TELL ME WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT!

I'm sick of the snides you throw,
sick of the nochalant attitude you take towards me
SICK OF IT FUCKING ALL!
so can someone tell me,
why the fuck was i even born?
Yes Daddy,

Gabriel The Test Subject
Awaits his Answer

Labels: Anger

{ gone at 22:26 }

I must say, what a brilliant christmas this has turned out to be
God gave me presents that were more than sufficient:P
but still, i wasted another day, another day to try to study
OR NOT!!!

still a little down in the dumps,
but who cannot be thankful that its Christmas
He came down to save us...the very least i can do is be less emoXD
i miss you...
and that is all

but what a spoiler, is still gotta wrap my NPCC prep...
sigh, the life of a boring CI...lol..

Miracles Do Happen
Just A Matter Of Time

Labels: Christmas

{ gone at 21:56 }

I'm not doing something right
i swear, something's going all wrong

in anguish i shall cry
in pain i shall scream
to voice out my pain, to throw out my sorrow
for I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TROUBLES ME
and i wish to seek the answer
could it lay with God? for i've not been in touch with Him
could it be a member of the opposite sex? but i've no one in my life now
could it be my studies? likely so, since i've not started, and see no beginning
could it be my health? with the incessant cough going on for 4~5 weeks now

or could it be just me, me being me
again i'm "emo" then again i'm not really...or am i?
damn damn damn damn
i want to redo so many things
but no one has a time machine
if only, if only, if only...
IF

Tiresome

{ gone at 10:39 }

I'm really really sad
just sad, for reasons unknown
or unable to mention
and i'm really really sad...wait, i said that already

i want to dance and sing,
to be as free as a lark
to have my little pleasures,
to see the little sights
again, i'm being materialistic, Cambodia hasn't been as impactful enough
and still i have this incredible heartache,
not for anyone, yet maybe for someone...

caught Twilight with Mavis peeps
pretty average...

depressed once again, i can only take heavy sighs
love life me
what else is there to live for?

emoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemo

{ gone at 23:01 }

Sunday
i missed church
and so missed seeing *cough*
but i'm not really thinking about her anymore
in fact, i'm kinda bitten shy
or not
but still, love's a fickle thing...especially when ure on the fked up end
i wonder...will i see myself married next time?
next time...haha, no kidding what, i'm almost 20 soon
but thats still a far away subject
or not
ha ha ha ha ha
feel the sarcasm, running through my head

i'm a dreamer too, and i dreamt about Kat last night...
which was a scary topic to be talking about
nothing steamy, but talking about it, i have no recollection liao
just that she sms-ed S'porean's about her life over in Canada...
haha, just figments of me over-active imagination

people emigrate(the right word?) for all reasons
to run away from troubles, to start anew
but running solves nothing, cos the only thing that matters is that u forgive urself

For The Two You Can't Run Away From
Be God Above And Yourself

{ gone at 22:53 }

That's great.
the holiday's are almost over
and my homework is either MIA or KIA
I'm always home at 12...till my father's getting mad
but hey, got problem? its like the hols?
and hey, no school tmr?
zzz

wish i had my own room, with com/lappy to boot
sigh, to live in the lap of luxury
still, remembering Camodian kiddos
lief as a Singaporean is still quite savvy...for me at least
frugality...hmmm

Miss ya friend

oh ya, Pharmacy Camp was great too
fun, much too my surprise
new acquaintances...more souls to forget
oh wells...the meet with my squadmates was great too
opportunity cost incurred though

Oh Wells
Ya Can't Have The Best
Of Both Worlds

{ gone at 00:08 }

not that i've the gift, but still
deja vu's are real scary when they're not needed
or that i hit on something spot on
my life is getting more and more meaningless
can someone wake me up from my misery?

To the pair who's abroad,
Baby Girl's all sore and sad
that they've flown while i'm stuck here
what happened to our little gatherings?
poof, in the blink of an eye, me and choo are alone
ah, fuck it
i'm going up-ended and pissed again
soon, i'm going to descend again
will someone JUST FUCKING PULL ME OUT FOR GOOD?

{ gone at 22:57 }

I'm blind as a bat, to not notice
the close ones around me, how much i will miss
be they family, be they friends,
they have stuck with me, for good or bad

today, went to pool, with a bunch of people, long time no see
about half a year perhaps, my good squadmates of Earthquake
invokes some nostalgia, fun, good fun

then over to Andrea's concert...
just opposite Pop's restaurant
so enjoyed myself with the caroling crew,
now back at home, to simmer and cool

Nights, Alone
Friends Abroad, Painful Yearning

{ gone at 22:52 }

an incredible sense of clarity
a dawn awakening
I've come to know my own mortality,
in the wee hours of the morning

i missed my close friends as i suffered in silence
in search of a remedy, to my ailment
a cough, a sneeze, a great constriction
i could barely breathe, amidst my confusion

my search for death came to fruition
but i abandoned it, for better ambitions
for i could hardly forget the girl in my dreams
nor the Gemini Twits, or The Prince of Dreams

close friends they have become,
strange circumstances we have encompassed
hopefully we'll persevere, til my bittersweet end

Twisted,
Thanks To A Puff

{ gone at 11:51 }

Just back home from another IronMan outing at Choo's place this time around
and seriously, i think my cough's going insane...i've had it for like 2 weeks already
and its not dissipating
oh wells, i'ma negative externality:P
and yes, haven't been to blog, since always outing and outing...
pretty high flying lifestyle right now,
compared to my past standards...
perhaps i've got no life...but then again...

sometimes, the simple act of welcoming someone into your own home
really...i think too much,
but the subtle meaning...the simple gesture of acceptance...carries me far...
oh wells...a little food for thought i suppose...
life's a big mess right now, with all the signs and stories,
misleading ones too...
but a sister, more than casual friends...
i don want a good friendship to become awkwardness...

Life's Good
So Enjoy It While It Lasts

{ gone at 21:14 }

My baby, my baby...

haha, just a bit...antagonised?
just feeling this awesome urge and irritance
bah, can't really explain...
oh wells, today was an alright day, one for catching up on sleep:)
Iron Man not that iron afterall...lolz...

went to Aunt's place...
played much and played much,
and forgot why we even went...
cos of Cousin's birthday...
zzz...i'm been too engrossed with my stuff...damn
oh wells, had fun, had fun...

now on for a new and brilliant day:P
don ask why i'm so happy...lolz

A New And Bitter Mistress

{ gone at 21:42 }

haha, now over at chan's house
stayed over for fun, since i missed the last bus:P
and i tell you, slaying lao shan lung is OMG
screw it, its insanely BORING!!!
but past the fun and games,
sigh, i'm quite the emo kid...lolz

I'm in rather the mess now
life's fine, but...i'm still missing the big picture
perhaps its following the trend, maybe maybe
i'm enjoying what little i'm actually have,
but why do i feel its not enough? why...
living a life of non-satisfaction, looking at the cambodians...
makes me reflect much much more...
too much thinking i guess

Confucius Say
"Man Who Run Behind Bus, Get Exhausted"

{ gone at 05:30 }

I'm not good at close up words,
neither can i hold a conversation about anything
but what i want to say utmost from my little heart
is a few little words to my little class
mushy they may be, mushy they may be not
but I'm just a Baby Girl and a brokenhearted child

I love everyone single one of you, from Sean to Gk to Kat to Deborah
randomness in all ways, I've had much fun being with you guys, all the shouts, the taunts, the photos and outings, we're not great as a class, but one that I'll never regret being in.
To all the young maidens in T26, you're the prettiest bunch of flowers, the best I'll ever get to know, and though you may never rely on me, hey, Baby Girl will always be right beside you
To all the hunks and chunks of T26, the laughter and ball gazing, the merriment and sick jokes, continue being the macho men that we are, brothers of life

How i wish for someone beside me, to hold my tears in the cusp of her hand
to laugh with me, to dance and sing, to let loose and be merry
but what i wish for is an impossibility,
for to love me would be to love filth and insanity

Gaboohongee is very weary, and very very afraid, of the future, and of what is yet to come. i may already lack the courage to live on, i may already have been past caring, so whether i've made any difference in your lives, all i can say peeps, you made a huge one in mine.

So Many Loves And Heartfelt Tenderments
To My Beauties and Beasties
Of 1T26/2008

{ gone at 15:51 }

I've finally broken down
this machine has actually failed
(about time)
sigh, and i've broken down, both mentally and physically
a cough, progressively becoming worse, since last Sunday
and i cried, after so long, i finally broke down and cried
why i did so i do not ken
but it didn't make me feel better
food did

I've No One Left In Life
No Other Other
Only Me
Me, And My Baby

{ gone at 01:32 }

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